Research Design:
After reading the article “Opt Out”, I began thinking about what is means to stay at home and started to question how stay at home moms are perceived. This issue is complicated because everyone has different perspectives on how women with children should raise their children and what role they should have in the home. Some people have objections against Belkin’s article because they believe not all women have the choice to opt out especially minority women and women who are of lower class. Class status is a big factor that affects a women’s decision to continue working after she has children. There seems to be this constant battle between working mothers and stay at home mothers who make a career out of raising children. I don’t think there is a right or wrong choice; it just needs to be a choice that every woman should have the option to have. It doesn’t make it fair for poor women to have to continue working when higher class rich women can make the choice to be a housewife. Is the government doing all they can to help women with children? Is the workplace accommodating to women? What changes could be made in order to provide women with more options? How do men feel about women staying at home, do they prefer it? What are the stereotypes for both types of women, having a career outside the home or staying at home? What did Belkin mean when she said, “its not just that the workplace has failed women. It is also that women are rejecting the workplace”? When I read parts of the Feminine Mystique, I wondered why those women seemed to not be able to handle staying at home. I think that the author didn’t fairly include mothers who do enjoy their household chores. Not all women are dissatisfied with the path they have chosen.
Methodology:
I chose to interview my mother about her experience with staying at home. She is the perfect example of the type of women Belkin discusses in her article. My mother went to Washington State University and became a high school coach, but after she met my father and got married and had kids she decided to stop working and stay at home with my sister and me.
Brief Overview of the Interview Questions:
1. Why did you choose to stay at home?
I wanted to have children and raise my children. I figured a daycare wouldn’t be able to teach my children how to be good people and since I chose to have children, it’s my responsibility to take care of them and teach them right from wrong. Why have children if someone else is going to raise them?
2. Do you think many women have the option to stay at home?
No, I think I was lucky financially to have the choice.
3. What is your opinion on working mothers?
Some women can’t afford to stay home and I understand it. I think if you do have the option though and can afford to stay home until they get into school (k-12) then if you want to go back to work that fine. Why not be with them the first 5 years of there life because after that they are at school 8 hours of the day. The best time to be there is the primary years. I just think if you can, you should be there for the first years of there life. Its important to be active in your children’s life such as being in PTA, picking up children for school, and being there for activities and I couldn’t do that if I was employed because I wouldn’t have the time.
4. Do you ever feel like people look down on you because you don’t bring in money?
I think some people think mentally you are below them because you aren’t keeping your mind sharp. A business woman for example might think you are stimulating your mind by staying at home. It depends on high up a job is. I think higher paid women in the workforce are less envious of the stay at home mom then say a women who is blue collar or works at McDonalds.
5. Why do you think the status quo say that paid work means it is real work?
A childcare or babysitter gets paid but a mom does not. It is real work. Society thinks since you aren’t using and education then it isn’t “real” work. I think a child would rather see their mom at home then away from them.
6. Do you ever feel put down by women who have professions?
No. I think some other stay at home moms do.
7. What pressures do you feel as a stay at home mom?
You have to make sure you do the majority of the chores because its “my job” so that my husband doesn’t have added stress. I think some women give stay at home moms a bad rep because all they care about is themselves and arent good moms because their lives are just consumed with shopping and spending their husbands money. I look for discounts on clothes and don't feel like that "stereotype" that applies to housewives is really true. It is hard work to maintain a house and make sure everyone is healthy and happy.
8. Is dad supportive of your decision?
Yes. He believes as well as I do that if you can afford to have one parent at home you should have someone at home with the kids.
9. Now that we are out of the house, would you consider going back to work?
Of course. Will I do it...I don’t know. I have always been very involved and am an avid tennis player ( I play almost 6 times a week) and that keeps me busy. I also am involved with some non profit organizations and the church.
10. Overall, how do you think women can be effective mothers?
I think women need to do what is best for them. Some people cannot handle staying at home and need that mental stimulation a career gives you. Those women would actually be better mothers if they worked because they would have that outlet and would have more quality time with their children. Just look at Andrea Yates, I don’t think she could handle staying at home with her children and ultimately went crazy. But, again, if a family can afford to have someone stay home and whoever stays home can handle those responsibilities, then they should.
Overall:
I have come to the conclusion that women need to do what is right for them. Many women are happy and content with their job as a stay at home mom. I don’t think women opt out because society makes it hard for them, I think some women genuinely think it is more important to be there for their family. It all comes down to what works for the family and how to be the best parent possible. There are improvements that need to take place in the workplace and that cannot be ignored to help accomodate all women. For women who don't get to make the choice to stay at home, they need to recieve better childcare and more paid leave time. I think some feminist writings are ignoring the fact that some women find it a blessing to stay in the home and don't feel like they were forced into it at all. More research needs to go into the real reason women decide not to work and the joy that some women feel staying at home.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
blog 8
There has been a bunch of dialogue created in response to Belkin's essay "Opt Out". Some agree with her stance while others disagree. I came across a website when I searched called mothersmovement.org, and one lady said she was happy that finally people were discussing the issue. Much of the controversy lies in the the fact that she never represented minority women or women living in the middle to lower class. Those women surely have no choice in the matter of wether or not they can "opt out". The question is, do woman actually want to become stay at home mothers or are they forced to by the society that we live in (the institution)?
Personally, I think that she was simply presenting the facts about what affluent, upperclass white women who attend good colleges face when making the choice between having a career or becoming a mother. I do not think it is anybodys place to judge someones decision whether they are a working mother or not. It is a personal decision. I do however, think that women need to be given the option to take more time off and have access to better quality childcare. I would like to know who decided that women must give up their careers and not men? Now I struggle with this situation of what to do when I become older because I want a family but I also would like to work. However, my mother is a firm believer that somebody needs to stay at home and take on the responsibility of raising children so I have become accustomed to that idea. According to some women, you cannot be the best mother you can and you cannot give your children all of the attention they deserve unless you devote your time to being around them. That doesn't necessarily sit well with me. I do agree when you choose to have children you need to dedicate time to raising them;however, how do you do that when you have a full time career. Is is being selfish to want to work? Or, are is it wrong for society to mandate you stay at home an raise your children?
In F-Word chapter, the author discussed how motherhood seems to be tied into politics. It is sad that there are so many obstacles working mothers have to face when trying to provide for their families. Feminism is still prevelant today because women are still limited in the realm of careers. Why are women still earning less than men when they are educated? I think it is wonderful that all these women are now seeking college educations. In chapter 9 of FIFE, Hooks talked about how some women feel a little bit angry at the women's liberation movement because they don't have flexible hours that cause them to have long hours. It made me upset to read about all of the poverty that women have been facing because according to her the "white supremacist capitalist patriarchal" society has been trying to "dismantle the welfare system in our society" and "will deprieve poor and indigent women of access to even the most basic necessities of life"(Hooks 51). People do need to have equal access to welfare; however, I also do believe there needs to be some sense of personal responsibility. The government's jobs is not to help everyone forever.
Personally, I think that she was simply presenting the facts about what affluent, upperclass white women who attend good colleges face when making the choice between having a career or becoming a mother. I do not think it is anybodys place to judge someones decision whether they are a working mother or not. It is a personal decision. I do however, think that women need to be given the option to take more time off and have access to better quality childcare. I would like to know who decided that women must give up their careers and not men? Now I struggle with this situation of what to do when I become older because I want a family but I also would like to work. However, my mother is a firm believer that somebody needs to stay at home and take on the responsibility of raising children so I have become accustomed to that idea. According to some women, you cannot be the best mother you can and you cannot give your children all of the attention they deserve unless you devote your time to being around them. That doesn't necessarily sit well with me. I do agree when you choose to have children you need to dedicate time to raising them;however, how do you do that when you have a full time career. Is is being selfish to want to work? Or, are is it wrong for society to mandate you stay at home an raise your children?
In F-Word chapter, the author discussed how motherhood seems to be tied into politics. It is sad that there are so many obstacles working mothers have to face when trying to provide for their families. Feminism is still prevelant today because women are still limited in the realm of careers. Why are women still earning less than men when they are educated? I think it is wonderful that all these women are now seeking college educations. In chapter 9 of FIFE, Hooks talked about how some women feel a little bit angry at the women's liberation movement because they don't have flexible hours that cause them to have long hours. It made me upset to read about all of the poverty that women have been facing because according to her the "white supremacist capitalist patriarchal" society has been trying to "dismantle the welfare system in our society" and "will deprieve poor and indigent women of access to even the most basic necessities of life"(Hooks 51). People do need to have equal access to welfare; however, I also do believe there needs to be some sense of personal responsibility. The government's jobs is not to help everyone forever.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
blog 7
The last movie I saw was Revolutionary Road, starring Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. The plot of the movie realistically showed how gender roles were seen in the late 1950’s. Women were supposed to stay at home while men worked. Kate Winslets character struggled to live in a mundane life. She was expected to stay at home to take care of the children, as well as clean and cook. This was hard for her because she so desperately wanted to travel and explore the world but was forced by society to push that idea out of her head. Leo also has issues with his gender role. As a man in the late 1950’s he was expected to be the provider for the family and work. It was funny to me to watch him on his way to work because every man had the same suit and tie with a hat and briefcase on the way to work. He was tired of having to work at a boring job and cheated on his wife because their marriage lost its passion. The movie trailers advertised their marriage as starting out well then turning into a bad relationship. Here is the youtube link for the trailer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z6kDo1OFzE
In the F-word chapter 7, relationships are discussed and I found it interesting as she wrote about the housewife syndrome when housewives start to think, "is this all". I enjoyed reading about women who were okay with being single. Just because you are single doesn't mean you are lonely. The woman who realized you dont have to wait for a man to buy you the things you want, you should get it yourself really struck me. I think that is so true! I found it interesting that people are getting married later now and less people are choosing to get married. It is important to look at the divorce rate and make sure you make the right decision. Waiting until you are older is actually a good thing in my opinion because you are able to make sure you find the right guy. I do believe that marriage is sacred and should be between a man and a woman. In chapter 8 she talked about motherhood. I didn't know that studies show that after a couple has children, gender inequality is likely to occur. There is a large imbalance between careers and rasing children.
In the chapters we read in FIFE, Hooks discussed parenting, marriage and partnership, lesbianism, and love. Hooks seems to be a little to liberal for me and puts down Christain ideals in my opinion. She has good points when she speaks against abuse in parenting and for both parents taking responsibility in raising the children. It is important for children to have both parents involved because it allows them to learn from both sexes and creates cultural awareness. I do think that the some women in the femenist movement are crazy for thinking by marrying you are buying into the patriarchal society. Marriage is a wonderful thing and by getting married to the right guy, you won't see sexism in the marriage. Believe it or not there are good guys out there. Maybe I am biased because I have been blessed with two loving parents in a good relationship that supports eachother and divides the work. My father is a wonderful man and treats my mom well. She CHOOSES to stay home and raise us...whats so wrong with that? In chapter 15, I disagree with women having "sexual freedom", like that of the 60's-70's. By being promiscuous, you are telling the world you dont care about your body and you dont respect yourself. I think the total opposite of women who think "its my body so I am going to go out and sleep around". You are not respecting your body. I also disagree with the radical lesbians who encouraged women to not be heterosexual because that continued the patricarchal society. That idea is absurd. I find Hooks writing style to be highly offensive because she calls Christain fundalmentalism "narrowminded". Not everyone reading her material agrees with her and with sexuality being such a hot topic today, I feel readers would respond better without all of the attacks and namecalling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z6kDo1OFzE
In the F-word chapter 7, relationships are discussed and I found it interesting as she wrote about the housewife syndrome when housewives start to think, "is this all". I enjoyed reading about women who were okay with being single. Just because you are single doesn't mean you are lonely. The woman who realized you dont have to wait for a man to buy you the things you want, you should get it yourself really struck me. I think that is so true! I found it interesting that people are getting married later now and less people are choosing to get married. It is important to look at the divorce rate and make sure you make the right decision. Waiting until you are older is actually a good thing in my opinion because you are able to make sure you find the right guy. I do believe that marriage is sacred and should be between a man and a woman. In chapter 8 she talked about motherhood. I didn't know that studies show that after a couple has children, gender inequality is likely to occur. There is a large imbalance between careers and rasing children.
In the chapters we read in FIFE, Hooks discussed parenting, marriage and partnership, lesbianism, and love. Hooks seems to be a little to liberal for me and puts down Christain ideals in my opinion. She has good points when she speaks against abuse in parenting and for both parents taking responsibility in raising the children. It is important for children to have both parents involved because it allows them to learn from both sexes and creates cultural awareness. I do think that the some women in the femenist movement are crazy for thinking by marrying you are buying into the patriarchal society. Marriage is a wonderful thing and by getting married to the right guy, you won't see sexism in the marriage. Believe it or not there are good guys out there. Maybe I am biased because I have been blessed with two loving parents in a good relationship that supports eachother and divides the work. My father is a wonderful man and treats my mom well. She CHOOSES to stay home and raise us...whats so wrong with that? In chapter 15, I disagree with women having "sexual freedom", like that of the 60's-70's. By being promiscuous, you are telling the world you dont care about your body and you dont respect yourself. I think the total opposite of women who think "its my body so I am going to go out and sleep around". You are not respecting your body. I also disagree with the radical lesbians who encouraged women to not be heterosexual because that continued the patricarchal society. That idea is absurd. I find Hooks writing style to be highly offensive because she calls Christain fundalmentalism "narrowminded". Not everyone reading her material agrees with her and with sexuality being such a hot topic today, I feel readers would respond better without all of the attacks and namecalling.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
blog 6
Something in advertising needs to change. It is sad that the majority of advertisement make women seem to be sexual objects and promote eating disorders by only displaying thin women.
http://www.about-face.org/goo/newten/2/six.shtml
I couldnt get the advertisement to paste on this page so go to the link to see the ad. This ad puts women in a negative light. Womens roles are seen as simply being objects to look at and not be loved for intelligence and personality. The woman in this picture is extremely thin and is wearing a lacy black bra and panties which gives the idea that a woman's rols is to attract a man by being sexual and sensual. A man who sees this ad would basically think he could easily get this woman into bed because she is in a vulnerable position. The slightly parted lips and the hand around her pelvic region give viewers the impression that a woman's duty is to have sex with a man and a woman's valor is based on her appearance.
In FIFE chapter 5, Hooks discusses the issue of reproductive rights in the feminist movement and how she believes the right to an abortion is necessary in assuring women’s basics right to there body. I think this issue is a tough one for many females who are feminist but have religious convictions that contradict the right to an abortion. I for one, do not believe an abortion should be freely available except under some circumstances (i.e rape, or incest), instances in which a women does not make a conscious choice to have intercourse. When a women makes the choice to have sex then they must be aware of the risks of pregnancy. In this day and age, birth control is fairly inexpensive with most insurances or the use of generic pills. Condoms are very cheap and are effective when used correctly. I think people get pregnant because of irresponsibility. It goes back to the idea of personal responsibility. I may have formed by distaste for abortion because of an experience I had with a co-worker in high school. This girl has gotten pregnant for the third time and took about a week off in order to recover from her Third abortion. Now I ask, why can't there be some sort of a limit? I think people see abortions as a form of birth control which it clearly is not. Pro-choice argue that it is the right of the woman to choose because it is her body; however, when it has a heartbeat, it is a life and therefore you are making a decision on somebody elses life. However, I don't believe that abortion will ever be unavailable so it is necessary for the government to do more( sex education) to help prevent women from having unwanted pregnancies in the first place. The pill needs to be easier to obtain and people need to be educated on ways to prevent pregnancy.
In FIFE chapter 6, Hooks takes about beauty and appearance. I am very thankful that women are now allowed to wear pants to work and other more comfortable clothing. Females should not be judged solely on our looks because it forces women to become obsessed with weight and body image issues. The media has caused women’s self-esteem to plummet and prevents women from ever feeling good enough for society. Men have dominated the media and it has caused women to hate their bodies.
http://www.about-face.org/goo/newten/2/six.shtml
I couldnt get the advertisement to paste on this page so go to the link to see the ad. This ad puts women in a negative light. Womens roles are seen as simply being objects to look at and not be loved for intelligence and personality. The woman in this picture is extremely thin and is wearing a lacy black bra and panties which gives the idea that a woman's rols is to attract a man by being sexual and sensual. A man who sees this ad would basically think he could easily get this woman into bed because she is in a vulnerable position. The slightly parted lips and the hand around her pelvic region give viewers the impression that a woman's duty is to have sex with a man and a woman's valor is based on her appearance.
In FIFE chapter 5, Hooks discusses the issue of reproductive rights in the feminist movement and how she believes the right to an abortion is necessary in assuring women’s basics right to there body. I think this issue is a tough one for many females who are feminist but have religious convictions that contradict the right to an abortion. I for one, do not believe an abortion should be freely available except under some circumstances (i.e rape, or incest), instances in which a women does not make a conscious choice to have intercourse. When a women makes the choice to have sex then they must be aware of the risks of pregnancy. In this day and age, birth control is fairly inexpensive with most insurances or the use of generic pills. Condoms are very cheap and are effective when used correctly. I think people get pregnant because of irresponsibility. It goes back to the idea of personal responsibility. I may have formed by distaste for abortion because of an experience I had with a co-worker in high school. This girl has gotten pregnant for the third time and took about a week off in order to recover from her Third abortion. Now I ask, why can't there be some sort of a limit? I think people see abortions as a form of birth control which it clearly is not. Pro-choice argue that it is the right of the woman to choose because it is her body; however, when it has a heartbeat, it is a life and therefore you are making a decision on somebody elses life. However, I don't believe that abortion will ever be unavailable so it is necessary for the government to do more( sex education) to help prevent women from having unwanted pregnancies in the first place. The pill needs to be easier to obtain and people need to be educated on ways to prevent pregnancy.
In FIFE chapter 6, Hooks takes about beauty and appearance. I am very thankful that women are now allowed to wear pants to work and other more comfortable clothing. Females should not be judged solely on our looks because it forces women to become obsessed with weight and body image issues. The media has caused women’s self-esteem to plummet and prevents women from ever feeling good enough for society. Men have dominated the media and it has caused women to hate their bodies.
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