ethnography paper

Research Design:
After reading the article “Opt Out”, I began thinking about what is means to stay at home and started to question how stay at home moms are perceived. This issue is complicated because everyone has different perspectives on how women with children should raise their children and what role they should have in the home. Some people have objections against Belkin’s article because they believe not all women have the choice to opt out especially minority women and women who are of lower class. Class status is a big factor that affects a women’s decision to continue working after she has children. There seems to be this constant battle between working mothers and stay at home mothers who make a career out of raising children. I don’t think there is a right or wrong choice; it just needs to be a choice that every woman should have the option to have. It doesn’t make it fair for poor women to have to continue working when higher class rich women can make the choice to be a housewife. Is the government doing all they can to help women with children? Is the workplace accommodating to women? What changes could be made in order to provide women with more options? How do men feel about women staying at home, do they prefer it? What are the stereotypes for both types of women, having a career outside the home or staying at home? What did Belkin mean when she said, “its not just that the workplace has failed women. It is also that women are rejecting the workplace”? When I read parts of the Feminine Mystique, I wondered why those women seemed to not be able to handle staying at home. I think that the author didn’t fairly include mothers who do enjoy their household chores. Not all women are dissatisfied with the path they have chosen.

Methodology:
I chose to interview my mother about her experience with staying at home. She is the perfect example of the type of women Belkin discusses in her article. My mother went to Washington State University and became a high school coach, but after she met my father and got married and had kids she decided to stop working and stay at home with my sister and me.

Brief Overview of the Interview Questions:
1. Why did you choose to stay at home?
I wanted to have children and raise my children. I figured a daycare wouldn’t be able to teach my children how to be good people and since I chose to have children, it’s my responsibility to take care of them and teach them right from wrong. Why have children if someone else is going to raise them?

2. Do you think many women have the option to stay at home?
No, I think I was lucky financially to have the choice.

3. What is your opinion on working mothers?
Some women can’t afford to stay home and I understand it. I think if you do have the option though and can afford to stay home until they get into school (k-12) then if you want to go back to work that fine. Why not be with them the first 5 years of there life because after that they are at school 8 hours of the day. The best time to be there is the primary years. I just think if you can, you should be there for the first years of there life. Its important to be active in your children’s life such as being in PTA, picking up children for school, and being there for activities and I couldn’t do that if I was employed because I wouldn’t have the time.

4. Do you ever feel like people look down on you because you don’t bring in money?
I think some people think mentally you are below them because you aren’t keeping your mind sharp. A business woman for example might think you are stimulating your mind by staying at home. It depends on high up a job is. I think higher paid women in the workforce are less envious of the stay at home mom then say a women who is blue collar or works at McDonalds.

5. Why do you think the status quo say that paid work means it is real work?
A childcare or babysitter gets paid but a mom does not. It is real work. Society thinks since you aren’t using and education then it isn’t “real” work. I think a child would rather see their mom at home then away from them.

6. Do you ever feel put down by women who have professions?
No. I think some other stay at home moms do.

7. What pressures do you feel as a stay at home mom?
You have to make sure you do the majority of the chores because its “my job” so that my husband doesn’t have added stress. I think some women give stay at home moms a bad rep because all they care about is themselves and arent good moms because their lives are just consumed with shopping and spending their husbands money. I look for discounts on clothes and don't feel like that "stereotype" that applies to housewives is really true. It is hard work to maintain a house and make sure everyone is healthy and happy.

8. Is dad supportive of your decision?
Yes. He believes as well as I do that if you can afford to have one parent at home you should have someone at home with the kids.

9. Now that we are out of the house, would you consider going back to work?
Of course. Will I do it...I don’t know. I have always been very involved and am an avid tennis player ( I play almost 6 times a week) and that keeps me busy. I also am involved with some non profit organizations and the church.

10. Overall, how do you think women can be effective mothers?
I think women need to do what is best for them. Some people cannot handle staying at home and need that mental stimulation a career gives you. Those women would actually be better mothers if they worked because they would have that outlet and would have more quality time with their children. Just look at Andrea Yates, I don’t think she could handle staying at home with her children and ultimately went crazy. But, again, if a family can afford to have someone stay home and whoever stays home can handle those responsibilities, then they should.

Overall:
I have come to the conclusion that women need to do what is right for them. Many women are happy and content with their job as a stay at home mom. I don’t think women opt out because society makes it hard for them, I think some women genuinely think it is more important to be there for their family. It all comes down to what works for the family and how to be the best parent possible. There are improvements that need to take place in the workplace and that cannot be ignored to help accomodate all women. For women who don't get to make the choice to stay at home, they need to recieve better childcare and more paid leave time. I think some feminist writings are ignoring the fact that some women find it a blessing to stay in the home and don't feel like they were forced into it at all. More research needs to go into the real reason women decide not to work and the joy that some women feel staying at home.